Monday, July 14, 2014

Modern translations, toilets, and passing gas.

King James Bible 1 Kings 18:27 And it came to pass at noon, that Elijah mocked them, and said, Cry aloud: for he is a god; either he is talking, or he is pursuing, or he is in a journey, or peradventure he sleepeth, and must be awaked.

The Living Bible 1 Kings 18:27 About noontime, Elijah began mocking them.
“You’ll have to shout louder than that,” he scoffed, “to catch the attention of your god! Perhaps he is talking to someone, or is out sitting on the toilet, or maybe he is away on a trip, or is asleep and needs to be wakened!”

King James Bible Deuteronomy 23:12 Thou shalt have a place also without the camp, whither thou shalt go forth abroad:

The Living Bible Deuteronomy 23:12 The toilet area shall be outside the camp.

King James Bible 2 Kings 10:27 And they brake down the image of Baal, and brake down the house of Baal, and made it a draught house unto this day.

The Living Bible 2 Kings 10:27 They wrecked the temple and converted it into a public toilet, which it still is today.

King James Bible Judges 1:14 And it came to pass, when she came to him, that she moved him to ask of her father a field: and she lighted from off her ass; and Caleb said unto her, What wilt thou?

New English Bible (1970 edition, later revised in 1989) Judges 1:14 "As she sat on the ass, she broke wind, and Caleb asked her, What did you mean by that?"

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